MISCELLANEOUS KNOWLEDGE HUB📚

Even as many women now have their own money and no longer require men to provide for them, they still need men in fundamental ways. Many divorced women that I speak to did not involve their fathers when they were choosing their marriage partners. To their credit, when you scratch the surface, oftentimes, it is not even the fault of the woman. Some were raised by single mothers, had hostile fathers, absent fathers, abusive fathers – that is, fathers they couldn’t even talk to; or their fathers were present and advised against the marriage, but they ignored the father’s advice. A few days ago, a lady said in an online forum that her husband worked for the US Army and had been deployed to Nigeria for four years. She wanted to join him. Luckily, she went online with her quandary and was advised that she was dealing with a scammer. It was not easy to convince her she had been conned, but eventually, she got the point. But many women don’t do this when dealing with new love. More to the point, they don’t consult men. Let me give you a scenario. A woman has to choose between two men. One, a good-looking, tall, narcissistic Chad, claims he is a businessman who owns a chain of hardware stores spread all across the country. He is flashy, talks big, is good in bed, and is bossy and pushy. But she can see there are red flags. He is in debt, spends a lot of time in clubs avoiding creditors, has a temper, a Mercedes car that is always breaking down, seems to have women on the side and is shady. The other guy is a straight businessman of average build who has a retail store that he goes to daily, he is a church-going man, owns a modest car and lives a simple life. Who do you think a woman will choose between the two? In my recent debate about why divorced women are struggling to find love, you could see one discussant, an educated, career woman, had completely shut down her mind from understanding opposing ideas. She was interrupting me incessantly, emotional and impervious to the points I made. She would ask a question, then when the answer was not pleasing to her, interrupt midstream and ask another question and another and another, looking to corner rather than learn. She was completely unmoored and unhinged. Can a woman like that be advised? Can she pick a good man from a pack even if she is given a chance? And even if she does pick a man, can she live with him peacefully with that kind of masculine energy and disorganized attachment style? She is doomed from every angle. She wants a man who doesn’t care about paternity, which is fine, but once her kids are grown, what do you think she will do with that compliant beta male provider? He will be chased out of the house like a burukenge. Then she will be back in the market looking for a man for retirement, maybe a Ben ten. And she will throng divorce support groups once again with a thick file of victim papers. A woman like that can only be rescued by a man because she is self-destructive and locked in an echo chamber with no escape hatch. Many divorced women are now in support groups for divorced women. But these same women left their marriages because they were not happy. After the divorce, they are still not happy. Why make a choice that is traumatic and needs therapy when you could adjust? Mind you, most of them left their husbands because of financial issues. And even where there were other serious issues, these same women left good men and picked the men they ended up with. The point is that, left to their own devices, many women will make destructive choices, especially when it comes to picking romantic partners. They will make emotional, not rational decisions and engage their emotions when discussing issues that need logic and fact. That’s why 304s want to be called queens. It feels good, even if it's incongruent with reality. As feminist influence advances, more women end up single, join support groups, sink into alcoholism, depression, poverty and strengthen their competitiveness in the victimhood Olympics.

A lot of divorces would be avoided if women involved men before making the decision to get married. Unplugging continues.

...I'll be gone for some time...

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He can't even look at the mother of his children. Ah toleya women are kinky. More importantly, one of the biggest weakness we have as men is our idealism. Once we have picked a shiny apple then taken a large bite and found it rotten and full of worms, rather than throw if away, we try to remove the worms and look for fresh parts. Fresh parts that we imagined, but are in fact, nonexistent. We try to compromise and negotiate. We cling to the ideal, even as evidence of our error keeps pouring in. That's why they tell you when someone shows you who they are, believe them. Stop the delulu. Decide if you can live with them or not. Get UNPLUGGED.

THEY DON'T CHANGE You know, for the most part, there's no major difference in quality between marriages that end in divorce and the marriages that are ongoing. The only difference is that, for the divorced couples, one or both parties decided they cannot live with whatever problem was bothering them in that marriage. But children think married people are married because their marriage is perfect and divorced people are divorced because it was terrible. Yes, some are terrible. I agree. Like 15% should really get a divorce. But for the most part, it's a glass half full, glass half empty kinda thing that ends or keeps marriages. You will be told it was because of irreconcilable differences, I wasn't happy, he was cheating, I need to find myself, something was missing and so on and so forth. Things married people live with every day and still remain fairly okay. The things that make adulting difficult in marriage are many and could be neuroticism, inability to compartmentalize, very high (or unrealistic) expectations, attaching great value to marriage, lack of flexibility, resignation, fear of being judged, lack of a life outside marriage, influence of friends, family interference, grass greener on the other side etc. What I have observed is that people, for the most part, don't change. So if you're married, look at your spouse head to toe, with all their flaws and strengths and decide, can you live with them? If you can't, walk away. File for divorce. If you can, then you will have a marriage. Don't delude yourself that they will change. Yes people can and do change. But for their own reasons and their own time. NOT for you. For them and these other reasons so never count on it. Nobody cares what you want, bro. As I keep telling you, people will always do what they want. They can manufacture reasons why but the result is the same: they do what they want. In the last one week, I have two paid clients facing similar situations. One of them is an expat whose fortunes took an upswing around the corona period. He got a big ass job and his income quadrupled overnight. His wife had been unfaithful and he placed some technical surveillance on her covertly. As he worked in Australia, he monitored her movements. All was well until three months from his departure, he noticed her moving past midnight. She drove about five kilometers from their home and was stationery for four hours then drove back. It was a residential area and he was able to connect dots and understand what was going on. It buckled him to the core to imagine that the raggedy guy in a grimy vest was clapping cheeks he had paid a premium for. He lost his shit completely and would wake up at night in a fright bathed in sweat. He took a flight home and couldn't muster the strength to go back. Another one came to me a year ago. His wife had cheated multiple times. She was also physically abusive and they each had battle wounds. But at the time, he also had a lot of work to do on himself because in return, he had become an alcoholic and impregnated two baby mamas who were also blowing up his phone and making his life a living nightmare. I told him to walk away from her, go work on himself then come for a conversation once he's cleaned up. You think he listened? He went back to her. Started a life with her. Kicked away the baby mamas and sent them child support from a distance. "Jacob was wrong," he thought, feeling pleased with himself. Things were looking peachy. His blood pressure was normalizing. Last week, he found an incriminating message on her phone. He confronted her. She bitchslapped him and he almost killed her in return. Now he has a P3, an assault case, and she's five weeks pregnant. But at least, this time he is sober. Remorseful as f, but sober and clear-headed. Hopefully, he took the advice this time. What I do is I advice you. You take it or leave it, that's your headache. For the first guy, he was willing to forgive her but the photos he found on her phone have spooked him completely.

After the procedure, Hajaji told The New York Times: “When you have no money, and your son is sick, you’ll believe anything