Our Side of the Story

I have always worried that I was failing God because of what I go through. "If I cannot get better for you and if I cannot heal then what am I doing for you? What good will you find in this no good of a body that can't even support itself to move like a human being?"ካልዳንኩልህ ታዲያ እንዴት ወደድኩህ?" I used to torture myself with this question. As the guilt grew the further I strayed till God made me realize it isn't in my capability or actions that made me loved. His love wasn't conditioned on the power I have.It came freely. From the beginning it was all from him and never about what I could do or did. I thought of him as if he was looking from the outside screaming " I gave you all of this why are you feeling this way? Why are you angry? Why are you not ok?" But I was wrong.All alongHe was feeling all of it with me. And then his words came to me...“ከኃጢአት በቀር በነገር ሁሉ እንደ እኛ የተፈተነ ነው እንጂ፥ በድካማችን ሊራራልን የማይችል ሊቀ ካህናት የለንም።”He has always been there.He wasn't an outside observer. He too felt what I felt. So.I sat down with myself. Closed my eyes. Started to look through his.🖤

I have always worried that I was failing God because of what I go through. "If I cannot get better for you and if I cannot heal then what am I doing for you? What good will you find in this no good of a body that can't even support itself to move like a human being?“ከኃጢአት በቀር በነገር ሁሉ እንደ እኛ የተፈተነ ነው እንጂ፥ በድካማችን ሊራራልን የማይችል ሊቀ ካህናት የለንም።” — ዕብራውያን 4፥15"ካልዳንኩልህ ታዲያ እንዴት ወደድኩህ?" I used to torture myself with this question. As the guilt grew the further I strayed till God made me realize it isn't in my capability or actions that made me loved. His love wasn't conditioned on the power I have.It came freely. From the beginning it was all from him and never about what I could do or did. I thought of him as if he was looking from the outside screaming " I gave you all of this why are you feeling this way? Why are you angry? Why are you not ok?" But I was wrong.All alongHe was feeling all of it with me. And then his words came to me...“ከኃጢአት በቀር በነገር ሁሉ እንደ እኛ የተፈተነ ነው እንጂ፥ በድካማችን ሊራራልን የማይችል ሊቀ ካህናት የለንም።”He has always been there.He wasn't an outside observer. He too felt what I felt. So.I sat down with myself. Closed my eyes. Started to look through his.🖤

I often think that, had I not met you I would be a mess, I would be an absolute mess I mean one of my most special memory about us Is the fact that I got to date you Your superpower is your ability To calm me down when I’m too far gone And your handsome I met my soulmate (you) when I was 16 years old And I have loved you every minute of every day Since you first asked me to tutor you maths I have loved you through my mental chaos I have loved you even when I hated you I didn’t fall in love with you Because I was lost or lonely or broken or needed to be fixed I didn’t fall in love with you Because I needed you to make me feel loved I fell in love with you Because the first day we went out together Everything stopped, the sounds around us were all muted And all I could hear was your voice And every time I stared into your eyes I felt home I fell in love with you Cause you loved me even when it wasn’t even on my mind You hugged me, when I needed to be held You laughed at my stupid unfunny jokes And you were always there Even when I didn’t know I needed you I fell in love with you because of the million things You didn’t know you were doing All that I ever was because of you Is all that I’ll never be again Every time you smiled at me I saw the melancholy If I had the chance to repeat I would in a heart beat Remember? When you asked me to sing for you? In case, you don’t, I do I wish you could sue me For destroying your heart I wish you hurt me more than I hurt you But I guess we’re not time travelers, are we? I had no other thought in the world But how to make you happy For the rest of your life Because you were already doing so much for me And you didn’t even know it But as time passed by You slowly started drifting away And the worst part of it was I knew I couldn’t do anything To stop it from happening And just like that you were gone But you will always have a place in my heart Whether I like it or not Because I had never felt love the way I felt it with you Even if it ended up breaking our heart I’m sorry Please forgive me… I pray that the God who reunited the Israelites to the promised land of Canaan Will someday reunite us -Bonita 🖤

I think I’ve answered enough for today, thank you for being here and for the never ending support. Have a good night🖤

Q: ስምሽ ሲፃፍ ቀላል ቢሆንም...ሲጠራ ግን እንዴት ነው? ማለት በድምፅ A: ደስ እንዳላችሁ ጥሩት😅

Q: Let me recommend you read a book called "atomic habits" if u haven't red before A: On my reading list :)

Q: emm emetfkrew saw emyafkresh kehone mndnw metadrgew A: መቀበል:: ሲፈጥረን የወደድነው ሁሉ የኛ ካልሆነ የምንላት ጉድ አለች😅 በርግጥ it’s inevitable, we can’t have a say in who our hearts choose. ተወዳጆቹም እኛን የመውደድ ግዴታ የለባቸውም...don’t make them feel guilty for it.

Q: selam lanchi Debbie.... e....what's ur purpose here in life...? do u think... A: I’m too sleep deprived to answer this.

Q: Did u have a boyfriend? A: This question is grammatically ill for me to answer :)

Q: the best and the worst thing about having a channel? A: This channel gave me an exposure to so many great minds and also helped me to develop a lot of things. At the same time, somehow along the way of trying to give it my best it becomes a burden and a responsibility which is a feeling I don’t like.

Q: Hey Debbie, Writing this is even kinda a challenge anxiety thing but anyhow Please keep up writing they are beautiful 😊 and can you please suggest your favourite telegram channels A: ልታጣሉኝ ነው?😅 @BoredTherapist 🖤 @yonis_home this man can write!!! @as_hannah_thinks forever a fan of how her brain works. @Wondersoul I just love everything about this channel. And I would love it if you guys would suggest channels of resembling contents :)

Q: What made u create this channel A: Some Monday afternoon and what I thought was a foolish desire to create a safe space, apparently it’s not and it’s paying off in so many ways I can’t even imagine. Egziabher yimesgen, so grateful for each of you🖤

Q: What has been the biggest change you ever made that made you the most proud of yourself? A: I understood that kindness doesn’t mean you should allow people to walk all over you. I felt the most proud of myself when I overcame my victimized mindsets like this one and stood up to whoever was using my kindness against me😊

Q: What are your favourite book and movie? A: Fave book is እጣፈንታ I don’t know who wrote it because I found it in our store room and the covers were ripped, tried googling it but it happened to be a translated one so :( And movie, the breakfast club and blue valentine.

Q: Can u confidently say u have found ur right place in life? A: what is the right place? If it’s in a sense “are you where you want to be?” No, I’ve made some accomplishments that I’m proud of but not yet.

Q: Who is ur role model Debbie? A: I don’t have one? There are people I applaud and look up to but I don’t have a certain someone that changed my perspective in life or pushed me into being who I am.

Q: Hey Debbie….how do you move on from things? A: I used to not try because some part of me hoped for a miracle. But now knowing that not everyone is meant to finish this journey with me I’ve made peace with the fact that I should let things slip off from me. But I’ve made peace with it doesn’t mean it’s not hard, it’s hard. Very! I sit with the truth, forgive myself and forgive them, pray for a strength to move one step ahead, cut off whatever ties me to that situation or person. And sometimes you yourself get in between your moving on and holding on, be cautious with that.

Q: Debbie could u tell us ur favorite single and album from TØP?? A: Blurry face will forever be goated and ofc level of concern is my fave single.

Q: Do u think life is all about chance? A: Definitely not, I have a lot to say about this so I’ll write about it?😊