اودیسئوس.

Let us study for some hours

God bless this little ritual in our family. It always brings me back to life.

بینوایان رو تموم کردم: ریویوی کوتاه این شاهکار ادبی. Oh, Jean Valjean, I understand you. I understand this damned, suffocating consciousness of us. The way it never lets us exist, never lets us become anything without asking what it says about us, whether we deserve it, whether we have become someone unforgivable. I understand the exhaustion of carrying a self you cannot put down, of wanting so desperately to become someone else and yet being followed everywhere by the person you have been. How cruel it is, to have a conscience that will not let you rest, to know yourself so intimately that even your own mind becomes a prison. Still you loved, even when love meant losing everything. Perhaps that is the part of you I cannot stop thinking about: you were never freed from yourself. You simply learned, somehow, to live with the man inside you whom you could neither forgive nor abandon. I wish I knew how you did it in the last pages. I wish I knew how to be at peace, how to approve and love myself, all of him.

کاش زودتر اعتراض کرده بودم

من هنوزم تو همین مرحلم

از ۸ صبح تا ۱۱ شب کلاس و کار و باشگاه و بدبختی

عجب چهارشنبه چرتی بود کاپیتان

I can no longer stand this damned, soul eroding insomnia that haunts these days.

Every night

من هی یادم میره خطم بده و دوستام نمیتونن بخونن چی نوشتم

این چه پاییزیه دارم از گرما میسوزم.

….

خسته. مریض. با یک عالمه درس.

Checkmating Oscar while doing cardio.