Пещера монстров

As a kid who was trapped in our house, I wished to be a teenager bc I thought "Oh, when I get older, I can finally go out and make friends and someone to love and everyone will love me too and I can finally be happy." So I waited, right? what else could I have done? until I was a teenager and guess what, everything was worse. A once loving little heart that used to forgive all, now didn't even know what the hell was love. And wanted some kind of unexplained revenge. The boiling emotions, anger, anxiety of how just weak he was to explain why. Therefore, not only nothing was better, it was even worse now. He was more mature now, he could see all, but not a single word would be heard. He didn't go out, didn't make friends, didn’t find any love but hurt, and he most importantly didn't feel happiness. So sometimes when I wish to be an adult, to move from my so-called family, I'm scared that maybe it'll only get worse, or it's just the same. With even more responsibilities, more burden, more sorrow and regret. I simply gave up on the childhood I could have, just to be more miserable. What if it's the same when I have already given up on my teenage years ?

Почему мне так не везёт в любви?

Sometimes people are too busy trying to win, they forget to actually hear what you have to say

Good dreams for me are also nightmares cause like wdym that wasn't real n I'm back to my shittyass life

Using people's weak points is actually a weak point

The only thing all people are good at, is making you wanna try less for them

Я просто хочу, чтобы кто-нибудь с удовольствием со мной поговорил.

I miss who everyone once were, including myself

I hate the hoes I'm sad about

I'm nothing but a broken heart hidden behind a mad face.