resvivo

A prisoner of its own loop, forever chasing a future that keeps retreating, forever replaying a past that keeps returning. Never in presence. I must be a person who always dreams about the past becoming reality. Or the one who deep dives into absurd thoughts — about what could be and could not, thinking about all the ways that may happen and may not, depending on the combination of the choices I made and didn’t make, and could have made. And I wait. And think about the perfect future that could be. And also ready to accept the fate of the side I don’t want, but that may come. too busy to live in future yet never staying present Living in a delusional life, I guess. How am I. I may be disillusioned living the same life, same routine. living predictable my casual day, my week, my next month, my next year. It’s just so boring and so sane, yet so peaceful. the peace the calm that never made anyone a resilient surfer. you can’t learn the ocean from the shore and i’ve been standing here so long i started calling it home. I guess I need to learn how to let it go. I need to probably surrender. But I don’t know how. And at the same time, I know how. stay vivo| a.

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