Story. Рассказы на английском

An employee of a rolling mill was on his vacation when he fell in love with a handsome German girl. Upon his return to the works, he went to Mr. Carnegie and announced that as he wanted to get married he would like a little further time off. Mr. Carnegie appeared much interested. "Tell me about her," he said. "Is she short or is she tall, slender, willowy?" "Well, Mr. Carnegie," was the answer, "all I can say is that if I'd had the rolling of her, I should have given her two or three more passes." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

CORPULENCE The wife of a prominent Judge was making arrangements with the colored laundress of the village to take charge of their washing for the summer. Now, the Judge was pompous and extremely fat. He tipped the scales at some three hundred pounds. "Missus," said the woman, "I'll do your washing, but I'se gwine ter charge you double for your husband's shirts." "Why, what is your reason for that Nancy," questioned the mistress. "Well," said the laundress, "I don't mind washing fur an ordinary man, but I draws de line on circus tents, I sho' do." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

«Чем больше чувствуешь связь с родиной, тем реальнее и охотнее представляешь ее себе как живой организм». Блок А.А.

Россия - очень глубокая, содержательная и обладающая огромной теплой душой страна🤍 Этот канал раскрывает ее душу. Бескрайние просторы, реки, поля, озера и множество других удивительных мест можно увидеть здесь — https://t.me/+hHNcZx2Oa38xZjVi

CORNETS Spurgeon was once asked if the man who learned to play a cornet on Sunday would go to heaven. The great preacher's reply was characteristic. Said he: "I don't see why he should not, but"—after a pause—"I doubt whether the man next door will." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

Heaven sends us good meat, but the devil sends us cooks.—David Garrick. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

Бывший работник Wildberries психанул и завёл свой канал, где матом и чернющим юмором рассказывает про работников торговли и маркетплейсы. Почему нельзя ничего покупать на Wildberries, что не так с Aliexpress и что делать, если в заказе оказались ношеные трусы — вся информация здесь. Подписывайтесь — https://t.me/+_9RaMRu3kWoxN2Q6

There was recently presented to a newly-married young woman in Baltimore such a unique domestic proposition that she felt called upon to seek expert advice from another woman, whom she knew to possess considerable experience in the cooking line. "Mrs. Jones," said the first mentioned young woman, as she breathlessly entered the apartment of the latter, "I'm sorry to trouble you, but I must have your advice." "What is the trouble, my dear?" "Why, I've just had a 'phone message from Harry, saying that he is going out this afternoon to shoot clay pigeons. Now, he's bound to bring a lot home, and I haven't the remotest idea how to cook them. Won't you please tell me?"—Taylor Edwards. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

"This is certainly a modern cook-book in every way." "How so?" "It says: 'After mixing your bread, you can watch two reels at the movies before putting it in the oven.'"—Puck. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

✨ Драгоценная красота! 💍 Ювелирная мода, тенденции в ювелирном искусстве, история высоких ювелирных домов, секреты и тайны украшений - все это на канале Олерин Все о ювелирных украшениях 💎 Фантастические фото ювелирных изделий: Tiffany, Van Cleef & Arpels, Boucheron, Bulgari и др. ✨ Подпишись. Эти украшения невероятно красивые!

COOKERY "John, John," whispered an alarmed wife, poking her sleeping husband in the ribs. "Wake up, John; there are burglars in the pantry and they're eating all my pies." "Well, what do we care," mumbled John, rolling over, "so long as they don't die in the house?" 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы