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Don't jump to conclusions or decisions when you are angry or sad
If you're tired or depressed, if you're down on your luck or just had a bad day, if you're annoyed at people on public transport, don't jump to conclusions or make decisions.
You feel sure that you are always objective, and that all your thoughts are logically derived from each other, but in fact, they very much depend on your physical and emotional state.
☝🏻 So pull yourself together first, and only then contact anyone, make decisions, express your opinion, and try to find solutions.
You don't need someone who doesn't respect you
The best response to people who don't respect you is: as long as they don't get in your way, don't care about them. They won't encourage your activities or help you become a better person.
👉🏻 Get rid of them as soon and quietly as possible. Otherwise, they will pull you dawn and prevent you from moving toward your goals.
☝🏻 As long as they don't hurt you, ignore them. People who don't respect you shouldn't even be allowed close to you. They're not your audience, they're not your pack, they're not your clients. You don't need them at all.
It’s time to fall in love again or finally break up.
A time to change an old habit into a new habit or to destroy everything and start anew.
Spring is the best time for change.
You can fall in love in order to undergo a transformation.
Or you can do it without any reason.
You can choose to embrace your darkness or to nurture your inner light.
It's up to you whether you want to cultivate your fears or the opportunities that come your way.
Trust takes time and sometimes even effort.
Let's try to figure out what affects our ability and willingness to trust a loved one.
▫️ Environment. Relatives, friends, the received information, the media space - all that influences our perception in some way. Society composes a perfect relationship model.
▫️ Self-esteem. The lower your self-esteem, the less confident you feel in a relationship. Remember the great advice of Susanna from the well-known movie: "I am the most charming and attractive! All men are delighted with me..." Raise your self-esteem every single minute, because you are so exciting!
▫️ Personal space. Don't try to pry into someone else's affairs, then yours won't be disturbed either. People always can find a way to let you know what they want you to know.
▫️ Past experience. Yes, you can't escape it, it will always be at the back of your mind. But is it actually bad? By dealing with situations you didn't like, you can avoid repeating past mistakes.
Some ways to help complete stress response cycle:
✔️ Physical activity. Any activity will work, as long as you move and breathe. If you're stressed but can't exercise right now, a breathing practice can help relieve tension.
✔️ Communication and laughter. By interacting with people, you send a message to your body that the world around you is safe. Just a short conversation, a warm hug or a sincere laugh is enough. By the way, you can complete stress response cycle not only with the help of people, but also spending time with animals. Sometimes petting a cat or going for a walk with a dog is the best remedy.
✔️Another cure for stress is tears. Many of us have experienced episodes of sudden uncontrollable and inappropriate crying in response to a situation or someone's words.
✔️ Creativity. In general, all creative activities modulate and stimulate emotions. Think of it as a space where you can stop hiding your feelings. Both other people's creative work (music, books, theater) and your own creations are helpful.
How to overcome the fear of change and start taking action?
To do this, you need:
▪️ To analyze the reasons of your fear (with a specialist, things will go faster).
▪️ To find the "missing verbs" by remembering the past events. Namely, what specific actions were needed to get the result you wanted.
▪️ To make a list of such "verbs" for the current situation, write them down. They will all mean specific actions toward pending goals.
▪️ To divide all the steps into big and small ones. It is better to start with small ones, alternating them with big ones.
▪️ If the fear comes back, divide the big step in half again.
▪️ To support yourself emotionally all the way. Realize that you are working as well as you can.
▪️ To notice the positives in your life and plan things with a good mood every morning by writing them down as tasks.
What is an emotional burnout syndrome?
Emotional burnout is a state of mental, physical or emotional exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress.
Burnout is usually associated with being stuck in a rut and constant overexertion, which eventually culminates in a complete neglect of one's daily activities, an aversion and unwillingness to do anything. Burnout is a peculiar response to the external factors of life, a protective reaction of the organism, which is expressed in the form of complete or partial emotions elimination.
Weather changes often cause anxiety-related responses.
Such phenomenon is common to emotional people who are subject to sudden mood swings. The enormous flow of negative information can knock out even people with nerves of steel.
Staying in a confined space contributes to the fact that the person gets hung up on thinking about the same things. Experts recommend periodically distracting from the news and taking more walks.
Denial is when a person is unwilling to come to terms with reality, when he or she tries to avoid any new information that goes against their existing beliefs.
People who resort to this psychological defense mechanism simply ignore reality that is painful to them and behave as if it does not exist.
Such people often believe that they have no problem because they deny the presence of difficulties in their lives.
They are quite suggestible, often lacking self-criticism, as well as imagination.
If this continues for a long period of time, the person completely loses a sense of reality, since he or she is already used to its denial.
How to stay calm🧘♀️
In our crazy pace of life, it's very important to stay calm in order to make right decisions. Lots of people live under stress, for all kinds of reasons.
Sometimes there are so many problems pile up at once that we start thinking that things are really bad, and we catch ourselves wondering, "Aw, what on earth is going on here?" In this case, it's extremely important to learn to keep yourself in check🙏
I want to share with you a few ways that can help you stay calm.
Breathe and count to 10. "1-2-3-4-5....9-10." Trust me, this method is very effective - just take a pause, breathe deeply and slowly 😤 and count (to 10 or 100), until you completely calm down.
Getting rid of disturbing thoughts
• Close your eyes and imagine yourself outdoors. A place where you feel comfortable: in a hammock in the country or in a sun lounger by the pool, or on the beach. Wherever you want.
• Imagine this place in all it’s beauty: the warmth of the sunlight on your cheek, the smell of flowers or sea breeze, the softness of the place where you sit.
• Now imagine the thought that gets you riled. Put it atop of a cloud. And watch as it floats away from you across the clear sky. Don't try to speed it up, just watch as the cloud slowly floats away and takes the negativity with it.
• If it didn't work out the first time - try again. Plant the thought on a cloud and follow it with your eyes. Let it gradually float away from your field of vision.
These techniques don’t always work immediately. Train your imagination, and it will become easier for you to free your mind from dark, torturing thoughts. They will eventually be replaced with a sense of calm self-confidence.
We all, at least once in our lives, have experienced a state of torture, when the dark, its accompanying silence, the loud snoring of your husband, your screaming baby are all just too much. You’ve already been to the bathroom three times, had a cup of water, eaten a snack, counted all the sheep and now anxiously waiting for the morning.
Sleep is a natural physiological process in which excessive mind activity plays a negative role.
If you are a young, healthy person, then insomnia is probably related to your emotional state. Sleep is too fragile a substance to be unrelated to your life's troubles.
Among other causes, restless legs syndrome (Ekbom syndrome), obstructive sleep apnea syndrome, various pain syndromes and much more are sometimes are to blame.
Simple daily activities that you are have become used to can help create a SAFETY and TRANQUILITY bubble.
If you are not under direct threat, try to continue living as if nothing has happened.
🙏You can live through feelings of fear, anxiety and confusion.
❗️However, PHYSICALLY force yourself to do everyday things.
🔸Make yourself some coffee with milk and cinnamon topping
🔸Walk the dog.
🔸Help your child pack their schoolbags and surprise them with an orange hidden in the side pocket.
🔸Hug a loved one.
🔸Immerse yourself in a book.
🔸Sort out your work mail.
🔸Bake an apple pie and enjoy it with some tea.
🔸Tidy up your house.
Gaslighting is when you are absolutely certain internally that the situation is out of control, but someone keeps convincing you otherwise.
Common gaslighting phrases are: "I didn't say that," "You must be mistaken," or "It's just a joke."
If this lasts for some time, your own reality begins to slowly erode.
Gaslighting can range from the simple lies and exaggerations to total submission and domination.
People are easily offended
☝🏻 We always hold to our beliefs. We like to tell people how broad our views are but pick on others for every little thing at the same time. Creeping drivers (who speed up as soon as the road widens to two lanes), seventeen-year-old yoga instructors (who spend the first 45 minutes of a session talking about the meaning of life), authors arguing online all the way up (like me), people who swear or talk trash on various social media accounts...
👉🏻 Take it for granted: whatever you do, someone might not be happy about it. And this will happen. That doesn't mean you have to stop doing your own thing. Just don't be surprised when someone lets you know they're offended.
Respect yourself and others will respect you
In the world consisting of many people who want to hurt and judge you, it's hard as hell to respect yourself. But it is essential.
The first thing to be done is to figure out what you respect yourself for, and others will soon begin to do the same. That's because humans act like sheep really behave like sheep in a herd. They see someone acting a certain way and start repeating it. Just like millions of lemmings and hamsters. Derek Sievers told at the TED Conference about one guy who started dancing and everyone followed his movements (or maybe he just drank a glass of pink wine).
☝🏻 When you respect yourself expressing it a loud and proud manner - chances that everyone will do the same grow. And even if they don't, you'll anyway have a whole bag of self-respect, and that's cool.
How is music helpful in study?
▫️it will isolate you from the noisy environment and help concentrate on your work
▫️the dullest subject can become moderately tolerable
▫️when we listen to our favorite music, our brain produces dopamine - the pleasure hormone. This way you’ll enjoy studying more!
💡What music should you listen to?
Obviously, the favorite kind! However, if you start to sing along or think the lyrics over, you’ll quickly distract yourself. That’s why it’s best to listen to the music without lyrics. Personally, I prefer to listen lo-fi mixes online.
Perverted amusements of wealthy ladies of the 18th century
In those days, rich women loved to mock maids or girls from lower society in every possible way. One of the most perverted and cruel amusements was the following: the ladies invited a maid to their room and chewed it to the bone. Then they grabbed her, spread her legs and put their feet right in...read more 18+
The truth which will lead you to success 🕊
If somebody offended you, it’s because they noticed you
Before you get upset because someone dumped a lot of dirt on you, understand: this person took the time to tell you his opinion. He found you, noticed and appreciated the product you made. Well, yes, he hates you. But you took up his time because he spends minutes talking about his hatred.Even if you don't answer anything (and you shouldn't), you've already won. He doesn't want to know anything about you, but you're already on his radar. And then, if someone expresses hate, this is the most that can happen.
Life goes on, the Earth is still spinning, someone is offended, whereas you have become smarter.
A more tragic scenario: someone complains about you publicly. Nothing to fear, because people pay attention only to what concerns them personally. Therefore, social media and Twitter feeds will quickly forget about you.
So, feel free to score on the negative, thrive on it and live happily ever after.
Don't overload yourself
☝🏻If you find that there is objectively not enough time and your schedule is full, look at the less important things in your plan.
Is it really that important to meet up with your friend for coffee today? What about extracurricular activities? If you try to do too many things at once, you will start to feel insecure and anxious.
👉🏻 Cancel your plans when necessary to give your mind more space for clear thinking.
👉🏻Learn to new ways to delegate tasks to others. If you're too busy to go grocery shopping for dinner, ask a family member or close friend to do it for you.Don't agree to everything that people ask of you if you know that you don't have time for it.Your friends will not hate you, your boss will not consider you a bad employee, and the other half will understand that you need free time to organize your life.
📖 Why it's important to learn:
▫️Brain development and thinking: taking on new tasks, finding solutions, processing new information.
▫️Knowledge! New knowledge creates new opportunities and inspires new ambitions.
▫️The ability to concentrate on one thing without getting distracted increases.
It does not necessarily have to be a university/school, but any courses, webinars, foreign languages, and interesting books.
Excuses as a reason for delayed life ⏱
✍🏻 I'll get it done in the morning, I'll just get up early.Sounds great, doesn't it?But unfortunately, in 90% cases, it's just self-deception. Because tomorrow the reluctance to do anything will be the same, in addition you'll definitely want to sleep longer in the morning.
You can try to write an inspirational quote and hang it right in front of your eyes. Come back to it every time you have to push yourself to do something. My favorite is, "If it were easy, everyone would do it." Or just set a several alarm clocks with 5 minute intervals.
Where does resentment come from?
Resentment arises only where there were expectations. In fact, it is completely normal to have expectations, but they must be in the context of the situation, that is adequate and voiced.
Adequacy is determined by whether the person can actually give you what you expect from him or her. And it is also important to understand why someone should do what we want. The grounds must also be adequate.
I want you to come to a basic comprehension - you need to talk about yourself in terms of how these people could benefit from you, and why they should, for example, hire you. Why would they want to do that?
And this is where you should present your capabilities, experience, projects that could benefit the company which is going to hire you. Emphasize the value of your work and your participation in the company by showing that you are indeed precious.
🔸For example, if you're a real estate agent, say: I help people find good housing.
🔸If you're a financial advisor, say: I help people plan for their financial future.
🔸If a hairdresser: I help women find their own style and match their hair to their face.
What you should learn in your 20s in order to to avoid pain in 50s.
The most important choice in your twenties is to decide where to go and with whom.
That means, most importantly, determine WHAT you want to do. And make the necessary steps in this direction. When a person is not burdened with a family and children, he or she has the right and must invest time and knowledge in him or herself.The WORST THING you can do in your twenties is to waste your health immensely on alcohol or other rampant fun. Your body won't forgive that at fifty.🆘
You should learn to communicate with people, how to say 'no,' and stay open-minded at the same time. Set goals and priorities, and be able to uphold them.
It's very important to learn to handle money, and build financial goals and priorities in your twenties.
Do it at 20, and you will be immensely grateful to yourself some time later.
Online dating. A few simple NOTs.
You should NOT start communicating with templates. Such as "Hi, how are you" or "your eyes are like stars!", and other mediocre greetings. If there is a questionnaire, you should NOT ignore it. It is unlikely you want to spoil your mood and waste time on "not your" person. So do NOT be lazy to fill out your profile and carefully read others'.✅
Do NOT insist on a meeting right away. Especially if you are looking for a serious relationship, not just one-night stand. Learn more about your partner, since many important things can come up in the process of correspondence. By the way, nothing prevents you from asking for your partner's social profiles before the meeting, and google her or him to see if he or she is wanted, or to check for any bank debts. And be sure to tell your loved ones where and with whom you are going to date.
Do NOT send nudes. Even if you are very proud of their content. It can all be used against you. Is it really worth it?💪🏼
Heartbreak or how to win the war of hormone.
Remove ALL memories of the object of your suffering. Photographs, gifts, and other reminders all go to waste. Don't listen to the music you used to listen TOGETHER or visit YOUR places.
Turn over a new leaf. Now is the time to learn to play the guitar, start cooking, singing, learning Spanish. LOAD UP YOUR BRAIN so it has no time to reflect or remember. LOAD UP YOUR BODY. Physical activity will not only distract you, but it will also STIMULATE your altered senses.🧘♂️
COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS. Even if you don't really want to. Loneliness makes you vulnerable, impairs sleep, and increases morbidity and mortality. So force yourself out for walks and hang out with friends.👨👩👦👦
Personal development and productivity:
Every morning 📎
▫️ a glass of cool water;
▫️ a quick workout;
▫️ taking care of your hair;
▫️ facial care;
▫️ body care;
▫️ delicious and healthy breakfast;
▫️ 10 new words in other language;
▫️ half-hour hobby.
Every day 📎
▫️ 1 foreign language class;
▫️ evening facial and body care;
▫️ go to bed before 11:00 p.m.
Every week 📎
▫️ go to 3 workouts;
▫️ watch 1 movie;
▫️ listen to 1 lecture/podcast;
▫️ visit a new place;
▫️ weekly review;
▫️ keeping your eyes on the goal.